How Motherhood Has Changed Me

why motherhood has changed me the best parts of motherhoodwhy being a mom is the besthow motherhood has changed memom of baby boymotherhoodliz adams on motherhoodIt has been almost 11 months since I became a mom. Yesterday I was walking Charlie and Webster through the park and I had this moment of complete peace. It kind of felt like an out of body experience. Where I was looking at my life from a different perspective and I thought “I am so lucky.”

I am always conscious of how truly blessed I am but sometimes it feels like the days go by so quickly that I forget to really take note of those insignificant moments in time that stop you in your tracks. It made me think about how much has changed in the past 11 months. Life was great before Charlie but feels so much more complete since he came into our lives. Adjusting to motherhood hasn’t always been easy for me (you can read about that here and here) but has given my life a different meaning and purpose.

In the beginning you don’t want to admit that having a baby has changed you. I wanted to believe that I could be the same person, do the same things and just have Charlie be an extension of the lives that we were already living. I was wrong. So much changes when you have a child. The truth was, I didn’t want to do the same things or be the same person. I wanted to be better for Charlie and for my family.

The easiest way for me to describe how motherhood has changed me would be to tell you what I consider to be my flaws. I am impatient, controlling, easily distracted, a tad selfish and at times, insecure. I still struggle with all of these things but becoming a mom has changed how these look in my life…

Being a mom has made me more patient. Charlie will be one in September. Re-reading that sentence makes me want to cry. If being a mom has taught my anything it is to let time be – don’t rush it, don’t wish it away. All that matters is the time I spend with him and if that means work, social media, my phone, working out or anything else has to wait, then that is okay. I’ve learned to be patient with time, with work, with my relationships and with myself. When I was struggling the first few months of motherhood a sweet reader told me “the days are long but the years are short.” I remember crying and repeating this over and over. I wish I could go back to those hard days, when I had no idea what I was doing and Charlie was so little and helpless. Moments that I wished away and won’t ever get back.

*Be patient with yourself. Remember that as moms, we are always doing the best that we can.

Being a mom has helped me relinquish control. I am what you would call Type A. Not to the extreme but I like to be in control, I like to keep a clean apartment, I like to make plans and I like to know what is coming. Having my own business I was always aware of what my days would look like, always had multiple to-do lists to keep me organized, always vacuumed our apartment at least 5x a week – you get the picture. Enter Charlie and all of that went out the window. Talk about complete lack of control! Our apartment is a mess, I’m in pajamas until 1pm and honestly I haven’t written one to-do list in 11 months. You know what, I don’t even care. Life is more disorganized and chaotic but so much more fun.

Being a mom has taught me to live in the moment. A few weeks ago I realized that I hadn’t taken a photo of Charlie in awhile. Usually I keep our families updated with constant photos on our photo stream and I hadn’t shared anything. Every photo I had shared was on Snapchat and it made me really angry at myself. I love social media but not when the moments I should be capturing are gone in 24 hours, never to be seen again.

We all know this but so much of life is wasted because we are on our phones (I am 110% guilty). Trying to capture a moment rather than enjoying it. You have probably noticed that posting has slowed across my blog and social channels for that exact reason. I’m not going to flood you guys with content that is fluff. I’m trying to be as authentic as possible and that means spending as much time with my family as I can and creating content comes second. Charlie is changing every day and these moments are so important to me.

Being a mom means I live for Charlie. Dave would probably tell you that I’m selfish. He always says it is “Liz’s world” in a sweet, husband way. Mostly because I like to choose the restaurants we go to, I like to plan vacations, I like to spend my weekends with him and tell him he can’t play golf and I just like what I like. It is hard because all day long I am constantly doing things for Charlie. Once Dave is home from work I take full advantage of his help.

Poor Dave, I read an article about how husband’s think their wives change after having a baby. I don’t think I’m the same person I was before Charlie so I’d probably agree. Especially in the first few months when I was legit insane, but now I think we have our new normal. Dave has probably changed too – he is a bit more aware, emotional, sensitive and sweet. It is a tough job but I can’t imagine doing it without him and his constant support.

Being a mom has made me more confident. Growing a baby, having a baby and become a mom is powerful stuff. I feel strong in ways that I never thought possible – not just physically but mentally and emotionally, too. For the first time in my life, without realizing I ever felt this way before, I am content. Life is slower, less exciting, probably a bit boring – but everyday I wake up feeling overwhelmingly happy.

Get details of our apartment here. Photos by Heather Talbert.

 

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28 thoughts on “How Motherhood Has Changed Me

  1. This post is such an encouragement to me–I’m a month away from having my first baby (also a boy!), and have been so nervous/anxious/excited/all the feelings about how my and my husband’s lives are going to change. Thank you for sharing! 🙂

  2. I have 2.5 year old boy/girl twins and a 5 month old son. I love the baby stage (4-5 months is actually my favorite) but its fun to see them grow, develop personalities, learn how to speak, and accomplish new things like potty training!! My daughter is hysterical and I can’t believe some of the things she says.
    Every stage has its good and bad parts and once they move into a new stage you’ll say “This is my favorite” but they will all have something fun and exciting because its part of the joy of being a parent.
    By the way, go see Bad Moms. It’s funny and a little over the top at times but also emotional. I cried a few times.

  3. Yes. To ALL of this. It’s so refreshing to read this, Liz. I feel the same way!! Thank you for taking the time to summarize my thoughts for me. Ha Ha! I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t fret too much about Charlie turning one. I can’t believe I’m typing that because I was a basket case on Max’s first birthday, but I can assure you that it just keeps getting better (and a bit more chaotic — Ha!)!! You’ve got so much to look forward to. Keep up the great work!! xo

  4. Love this, and feel the exact same way ?My daughter is 2 weeks younger than Charlie, and you’ve summed it up perfectly.
    Your blog content is great, keep it up, and focus on what’s important!

  5. This is my favorite post from you, ever. I’m not a mom, but appreciate you being so open here. It also shouldn’t go unmentioned that we both have the same “flaws.” I’m all of those things (and more) and recognizing them has helped me be able to work on them little by little each day.

  6. It’s so true. I knew motherhood would change me, but I was shocked to feel almost like a completely different person those first few months. (My guy is a couple months younger than Charlie.) It took awhile to feel comfortable in my new skin. As a fellow Chicago mom, I love your blog, both the posts about fashion and about motherhood. You’re doing a great job!

  7. Love this post. My little girl was born just a couple weeks after Charlie, so I feel like I’ve been walking this new motherhood road with you almost in tandem. Every time you mention what you’ve been going through lately it is always so on point with what I’m feeling. It’s comforting to know that even one of my fave bloggers is experiencing the same emotions about being a mom. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing, Liz!

  8. As a mom to a 13 month old girl, I can relate to this post in so many ways! I love your candid motherhood posts (and obviously love the fashion ones too). Keep up the good work and thanks for sharing!

  9. So well written and so true. I didn’t realize our babies were quite as close as they are. My second baby will be one in September also. It really is an amazing transition becoming a Mother and I honestly thought my world was flipped upside down when we went from one child to two. And I kept trying to remind myself that I am not the first woman to have two children. Get it together!! haha. And when my second was about 9 months old, I finally felt like we were in a groove. The first year is tough and as I start to plan her 1st birthday party next month, I remember why we’ve started throwing outrageous birthdays for the first year. It’s not for the child. It’s for the parents to say, “yes! We survived it!!!!”

  10. As an expectant momma, I truly appreciate blog posts like this. Definitely taking notes on this one 🙂 I have a feeling it will be a similar experience for me, as I am also a bit selfish and controlling of situations (and also run a very tidy home). I do hope that having a child will help alleviate some of my perfectionist tendencies. But I also hope it will help my husband with his lack of patience!

  11. Oh, Liz, this was the most endearing post. As your good friend, I can tell you that you have absolutely changed, in all the best ways. You were amazing before, but you’re even better now. It’s because of motherhood and its ability to change perceptions, certainly, but it’s also because you are incredible and have tackled motherhood so gracefully.

    Love you, love Charlie, and love your family so, SO much.

    xx
    Em
    Isn’t That Charming.

  12. What pictures!!
    Charlie is amazing!!!!!!
    In the flaw department, how is the hypchondria???

  13. Thank you for the post! I also tear up a little thinking about how I’m different now, and that’s ok (my son is a few months younger than Charlie). I already miss the bitty baby stage even though it was such a challenge. Tearing up again! So glad to be able to hear from and relate to other moms. It truly does take a village.

  14. This was an unreal post. Honest, raw, and exactly how I feel most days (even though I’m young and no where close to being a mom). Quality always over quantity. Thank you for this post — it is one I will constantly return to!

  15. It is so fun to watch you and Charlie through posts like these. Love how you keep it real girl! It definitely makes you more relatable than most bloggers out there. Keep it up!

    Kristin

    http://www.tweedandlace.com

  16. Thank you for this truthful and beautiful post. The quote of “the days are long but the years are short” brought tears to my eyes. It’s so true! I am new to your blog and I LOVE it. Thank you for sharing all you do!

  17. I don’t know why I got emotional reading this because I am not a mom yet, but I really enjoyed this post.

    I’m sure it can be hard being vulnerable in a world of constant judgement and especially with social media, media in general etc. but I think this is beautiful.

    There is something so pure about reading truthful comments that honestly as women we are all probably thinking in our head. No one is the perfect mom, wife, friend, daughter, etc. but I love that as different as we all are, we are so similar too. I really really enjoyed this post and even though I don’t know you in person I can relate in a lot of ways and I appreciate you being so open about things. You’re doing a great job Liz 🙂

  18. I can’t relate in any way, as I’m still living the selfish 20-something (read almost 30) life style, and yet I’m 100% inspired. What a perfectly written piece. You make me less scared to start thinking about this next chapter in my life and I’m so grateful for your honesty!

  19. I love reading this! I can be type A as well and this is very informative 🙂 thanks!

    BNBstyling.com

  20. I loved reading this!! Thank you for sharing you motherhood journey. My son is almost 8 months old and I can totally relate to all of these feelings. It’s insane looking back at pictures and seeing how fast they grow and change. It’s so easy to hope the hard days go fast, but I’ve really tried to be 1000% present with my son and enjoy every single second of him every day. Charlie is absolutely adorable!! You are an amazing mom 🙂

    P.S. Download the Tinybeans app!! My family lives across country and it’s an awesome way to share photos and videos of my son with them! They tell me every day how much they look forward to my posts and if I forget to post, they give me an earful! ha!! I usually post my faves of the day and it’s so much fun looking at them throughout the months.

  21. Awwww, Liz this was literally the sweetest post ever! No babies here yet, but I like the way this sounds 🙂

  22. Omg, this is too sweet! My baby boy turns 1 Sept 15th and 100% agree with your words! Love following you along on Snap!

  23. I teared up reading this post because I can very much relate. I follow you on Snap and Instagram but admittedly haven’t spent a lot of time on your blog. This is the first post I’m reading on your blog and I want to read more.. about your experiences as a first time mom and dynamics with your husband since Charlie.
    I had my first baby (boy) a few weeks ago and am comforted by knowing I’m not the only one feeling this way.
    Thank you

  24. I have read this post SO many times and can’t believe I haven’t commented. I turned 30 in September, and my husband and I recently celebrated our one year anniversary. There is part of me that wants a baby tomorrow and part of me that is terrified of losing my current life. I love your honesty that life DOES change and it isn’t always easy, but you’ve also sold me on life being even better. Maybe 2017 will be the year 🙂

    Loved looking back at all your 2016 posts!

    Kaitlin